Overcoming Working Mum Guilt
Returning to work at any stage of your child’s life can be challenging, as you try to balance both your personal life and professional responsibilities. This life-changing event can have you feeling torn between two worlds, questioning your choices and how to navigate the next stage of your life. During this time of transition, you must remember that you are not alone, and many families face this change with mixed emotions.
In this article, we will explore what working mum guilt is, the impact it can have on your mental health, and most importantly, how you can overcome it for a happier, healthier lifestyle.
What Is Working Mum Guilt?
Working mum guilt is the feeling of guilt experienced by mothers who balance professional responsibilities with raising their children. It often stems from societal expectations (like from celebrities on social media), personal doubts, or the perception of not dedicating enough time to either work or family.
This feeling can lead to mothers trying to become a “supermum” - a mum that can do it all with ease - despite this being highly unachievable. Research from Bupa UK found that almost two-thirds of mums (63%) had driven themselves to exhaustion trying to be a “supermum”.
What Is the Impact of Guilt on Mental Health?
Guilt can have significant effects on mental health, contributing to high levels of anxiety, stress, and depression. Persistent feelings of guilt may lead to negative self-perception, reduced self-esteem, and difficulty focusing on typical day-to-day tasks, both at work and home. Feeling guilty can also trigger a cycle of overcompensating behaviours or avoidance, which may strain personal relationships and hinder decision-making.
How Can You Overcome Working Mum Guilt?
There are several different steps and approaches you can take to help overcome working mum, that can hopefully lead to a happier life at home. Let’s take a look at each one:
1. Validate Your Feelings and Emotional Response
You must take time to adjust to this change and recognise this natural emotional response. It is normal to feel conflicted between professional and personal obligations; it is a sign that you care deeply about both your work and personal life. Validating this emotion and not pushing it aside is the first step in navigating and overcoming it!
2. Reframe Your Mindset of Going Back To Work
Guilt can arise when you believe you are prioritising one thing over the other - family, career, or self-care - but this is a limiting mindset. Reframe your thoughts by recognising that returning to work doesn’t mean neglecting your personal life, and vice versa. Your work provides financial stability, a sense of purpose, and a platform for personal growth, all of which contribute to your overall well-being. Doing your job does not mean you are abandoning your personal responsibilities, but instead enhances your ability to fulfil them.
3. Set Realistic Expectations On Yourself
Guilt often forms from the struggle of trying to do it all, hence the term “supermum”. It is important to set realistic goals - don’t try to achieve what you see on social media, as this simply is not possible! The key is to find a balance that can be achieved, that works for you, and to understand you won’t always achieve it. Sometimes work will take priority, and sometimes it will be family.
And as with any change, there will be a period of adjustment which may require some tweaks, and that’s okay.
4. Embrace the Change In Your Routine
Whilst clear routines help us to thrive, life as a parent is a series of adjustments and varying factors may mean that the routine has to change temporarily. In those moments, it is important to remember that nothing lasts forever and to embrace the change, as it will eventually be for the better.
5. Schedule Some “Me Time”
Taking time for yourself should be a priority and not something you feel guilty about! Neglecting your own well-being will harm your personal happiness and productivity, so whether it’s a quiet moment with a book, an exercise class, or taking a walk in the fresh air, taking some well-deserved “me time” will help to recharge both your emotional and mental batteries.
6. Find Quality Childcare
It is important to remember that young children are happy when they feel secure, loved, and nurtured; taking the time to find childcare that suits you practically, financially, and emotionally will help you adjust to the new norm. Childcare should feel like an extension of the home, so finding one that shares the same morals and high standards as you will bring comfort. Seeing your child happy and thriving will in turn enable you to thrive!
7. Use Your Support Network
A supportive network to lean on, who can take the time to listen, understand or empathise, is invaluable in helping you to feel heard and understood. This network could come in the form of family members, your partner, friends, or colleagues. It is important to delegate tasks where possible, either at home or at work, so you are not shouldering the weight of everything alone.
8. Celebrate You!
Finally, celebrate your achievements - big or small! Reflect on your journey, considering just how far you have come, and be thankful for all the opportunities in your life so far. Remember it is okay not to be perfect since nobody is. Everyone experiences moments of doubt as they try to juggle work and personal life, and this can be overwhelming at times, but remember you are doing your best and that’s more than enough!
How Overcoming the Working Mum Guilt Can Help
Addressing working mum guilt is important for both your personal well-being and family dynamics. By overcoming guilt, you can improve your mental health, reduce feelings of stress and inadequacy, and be more present and emotionally available for your family.
Letting go of guilt also promotes self-confidence, helping you set healthy boundaries and pursue your career goals without compromising your sense of self-worth. This can lead to a better work-life balance, meaning time can be properly enjoyed and valued with your loved ones and colleagues.
Of course, this won’t happen overnight. It’s a process to work at and a goal to work towards, but it’s one that all working mums are in together!
Our Nursery Offers the Perfect Environment for Your Child to Grow, Learn, and Have Fun!
At Abbey Wood Grange, we appreciate that returning to work after maternity leave is an emotional decision, and finding a nursery for your child isn’t always the easiest of tasks. Our South Croydon-based nursery aims to be an extension of your home, meaning your child is in the safest hands to learn and have fun whilst you return to working life - why not visit us to see for yourself?
If you have any questions about how our nursery works, please don’t hesitate to contact us today and we’ll do our best to provide you with the answers.
